RECAP: The Amazing Race - "I Feel Like I'm In, Like, Sicily"

With only two legs to go in The Amazing Race, you'd think that teams would be stepping their games up a bit and trying to avoid the types of stupid mistakes that they had been making so far. Not so, apparently, as last night's episode featured a number of errors from every team but the Cowboys. I'd like to think that the teams that make it to the end are the best of the best, but since the teams this season have ranged from impressively stupid to borderline retarded, that's not saying much. They're still making asinine mistakes by note reading their clues closely enough, or by not paying attention to their surroundings, or by getting overly frustrated when the locals don't speak English. Read on for the full recap.

FILM REVIEW: Kick-Ass

A good superhero movie is a hard thing to pull off. What comes across as awesome and entertaining on the pages of comic books often becomes ridiculous and/or downright stupid when it gets translated onto the big screen. It’s easy to draw a superhero and make him or her look cool, but when you actually create that costume, you start to realize just how weird it would be to see someone dressed in spandex and wearing a mask walking down the street. Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass, based on the best-selling comic book series by Mark Millar and John Romita, Jr., manages to avoid being ridiculous by playing with just how ridiculous the idea of being a superhero really is.

RECAP: Lost - "The Last Recruit"

Only four episodes left, and Lost has now shifted from not moving at all to rushing headlong towards the finish line. The storylines in the idiotic alternate universe are converging, and events on the Island are indicating a climactic battle within the next few episodes. Read on for the full recap.

Movie Preview - Batman: Under the Red Hood (Part II)

A while back, I mentioned the upcoming DC Universe Original Animated Movies feature Batman: Under the Red Hood. The trailer for the movie has just been released, giving us a bit more information about the actual film. Oddly enough, the one place this trailer hasn't appeared yet is on the goddamn official website. Anyway, the trailer is after the jump.

Internet Goodness: Marvel vs. Capcom 3

When people tell me that I play too many video games or that comic books are anything but awesome, I typically respond with a series of expletives, usually accompanied by a dismissive wanking motion and/or a mouthfart. Video games are a fantastic use of my time, and comics are indeed awesome. So when big dick swinger from Capcom got together with what I can only assume was a beautiful, big breasted woman from Marvel to create Marvel vs. Capcom back in 1999, you can probably imagine how tight my pants got (very). Well, that marvelous couple is back, and they're creating Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds. I don't even like fighting games, but stuff like this makes me tingle in my special areas.

Here's the trailer:

Internet Goodness: Barats and Bereta

Look, I know I said I'd be posting more often, but I've had papers to write and 2-year-old episodes of Prison Break to watch, so get off my back, OK? What am I, your ONLY source of entertainment? Read a damn book or something.

Or watch these guys. This is Barats and Bereta, an Internet comedy duo. Their stuff is hit or miss, but more often than not they're hilarious. They've recently updated their website, and the update video they made to announce it is metal as hell. It's only a little over a minute long, so watch the whole thing because the best part is right near the end.

In unrelated site news, now that I'm almost entirely done my school work FOREVER (*jumps on table, air guitars, pleasures three lingerie models simultaneously*), I'll be posting a couple of movie reviews this week; they'll probably be Hot Tub Time Machine (I know it's been a while, but the DVD just came out so shut up and read it) and Kick-Ass (see? I can be contemporary).

Internet Goodness: Sam Jackson Plays Guess Who

I found this picture an hour ago and I haven't been able to stop laughing about it.

RECAP: Lost - "Everybody Loves Hugo"

Huzzah! Things are actually happening on Lost! The plot is moving ahead! After a mediocre season so far, the last two episodes have really picked things up and made the show at least bearable to watch again. It finally seems like things are converging towards some climactic moment, and it looks like the stupid alternate universe storyline is going to be resolved fairly soon. After the jump, you can read the full recap.

RECAP: The Amazing Race - "Dumb Did Us In"

FINALLY. I'm not going to spoil it right away, but I was really happy with the ending of last night's episode of The Amazing Race. Aside from the part that made me stand up and fist pump like I was dancing on the Jersey Shore, the entire episode was actually pretty good. The Detours and the Fast Forward were entertaining and, if not necessarily overly difficult, at least not mind-numbingly easy. There was still a fair bit of stupidity from some of the teams, and the Roadblock was pretty dumb, but all in all it was an enjoyable episode. Read on for the full rundown.

Internet Goodness: Patrick Jean's "Pixels"

This is the way the world ends:

You win this round, video games.

RECAP: Lost - "Happily Ever After"

It's about damn time this show made something happen. This week's episode, focusing on Desmond, FINALLY started the plot moving again, and took some steps toward a resolution of this stupid alternate universe storyline they've been going with all season. Desmond's always been one of the more interesting characters on the show, but he'd been virtually absent the entire season, so it was nice to see what's going on with him. Read on for the full recap.

Internet Goodness: Miles Fisher

This song sucks pretty hard, which is a damn shame because this is one of the best music videos I've ever seen. It's an homage to American Psycho, which is one of the best movies ever made (the book is even better, for those who want to feel like they're going insane just from reading a goddamn book). This dude is a dead ringer for Christian Bale, just a bit younger. He can't do the voice, but he has the Patrick Bateman smile down pat. Check it out:

Internet Goodness: Things I Hate

Listen, I hate a lot of things, but I think this dude has me beat. You may be thinking "But Ryan, you complain about everything! Do you even like ANYTHING?" The answer is no, so it's possible that I'm tied with this guy for Number of Things Hated; he's just found a better way to articulate his list than I have (Note: YouTube is typically a breathlessly stupid place to voice opinions like these, and you should avoid doing so unless you can make it funny like this guy has).

Internet Goodness: The Gnarliest Tattoo Ever

I know we've all seen some stupid tattoos in our day. Whether it's the idiot who gets a picture of his kid/girlfriend/family on his back that looks nothing like said kid/girlfriend/family, or the asshole who gets barbed wire around his bicep because "it looks tough," or the girl who gets the butterfly/flower/Chinese symbol she thinks means "Passion" but really means "Lower Intestine," we've seen it all.

Except for this. This is the gnarliest tattoo I've ever seen. Take a look:

You may think your eyes are deceiving you, but think again, bucko. That's Bowser. Wearing sunglasses. Shredding on a double-necked guitar. While surfing. In front of a giant pot leaf. In front of a giant cross. You may be asking yourself, "How does one come up with the concept for such an incredible tattoo?"

Boom:

Oh, Whitest Kids U' Know, you're an inspiration to us all.

RECAP: The Amazing Race - "You're Like Jason Bourne, Right?"

This week's episode was one of those ones that I can't really decide whether I liked or not. The challenges were pretty weak (again), but there was quite a bit of cab drama, and stupid decisions by a number of teams combined with temporally skewed challenges (i.e., one challenge took significantly longer than the other, although the second one took some skill) to completely reverse the order of check-ins from last week. Read more for the full recap.

Internet Goodness: Ghost Ride It

This is the best song I've heard in a while.