Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
- If you have a super-smart ape, make sure it only ever meets nice people or it'll flip the fuck out and lead a giant ape revolt.
- Don't live next to James Franco and/or John Lithgow or your life will turn to shit and terrible things will always happen to you (seriously, that guy cannot catch a break).
- Don't try to cure Alzheimer's. Or if you're going to try, don't use apes as test subjects. Use bunnies or something.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
I've come to a realization about my writing, and it's left me with a bit of a puzzle. The realization is this: if I'm writing something, and I discover that no one is reading it, then I stop writing it. Unfortunately I've never been the type of person to write simply for the pleasure of it. The truth is I write in an attempt to entertain, which is why I've tried to put a comedic twist on everything I've produced over the past year (I'm speaking specifically about the material I've written for this blog). The problem is that I have continually written about subjects that no one gives a shit about (reality TV, in particular, but I've also realized that recapping TV shows, unless you're intending to make fun of them, is kind of a pointless exercise; if people want to know what happened on a show, they'll watch it themselves).
So where do I go from there? The obvious solution is simply to pander to my audience. It's worked well for many authors (*coughStephanieMeyerscough*), but how do you maintain your integrity if you're just writing what other people want to read? And what, exactly to other people want to read? I've got a wide base of friends (and to be honest, at this point my only readers would be my friends), and their interests are incredibly varied. It'd be difficult to pick one topic to satisfy everyone. Also, if I write strictly for others, how do I maintain artistic integrity?
The answer? I don't care. Who am I kidding; I don't give a shit about artistic integrity. I want to write whatever will make people read me (and in turn will get them to pay me millions of dollars). Don't get me wrong, I certainly hope that it turns out to be something I'll enjoy writing. While comedy is really hard, it's definitely enjoyable, and the payoff when someone tells you they got a laugh out of your work is well worth the stress of trying to find exactly the right words to get your joke across. It's just that for me, my readers' positive reaction to my work is far more of a payoff than any satisfaction I might take from the writing process itself, or from the knowledge that I've told a good story.
I'm not sure what the point of this rambling is, other than to inform you, Dear Reader, that (for now, at least) I am back, but that there will be changes to the format of this blog. I'll be keeping things light around here; my objective is to make you laugh (or if not that, to at least make your day at work a little more tolerable as you read what I write). I'll post random links I find (the "Internet Goodness" portion of Undiscover This is the one part of this site that I feel should remain a staple), funny stories, and random thoughts (most likely about how stupid other people are). I'll definitely try to post at least once a week, but knowing myself, I don't want to make any promises.
So stay tuned, Dear Reader, and together we'll set out to solve the Ultimate Mystery: can Ryan be funny on a semi-consistent basis? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.