RECAP: Survivor - "Young at Heart"

I have kind of a weird relationship with Survivor. On the one hand, I can't honestly say that I actually like the show. The contestants are often irritating and/or terrible, and the producers are notorious for manipulating the footage to tell whatever story they want to tell, regardless of what is actually happening (i.e. Russell Hantz being portrayed as some sort of diabolical genius when in reality he's just a bully with a terrible social game who happened to find a large number of poorly hidden Immunity Idols). However, the production values, combined with pretty consistently entertaining challenges and gorgeous locations keep me coming back. This season appears to be no different, as the contestants seem like they're probably going to piss me off quite a bit, while the challenges (if the first one is any indication) will be as exciting as ever. The full recap is after the jump.

Site Update: Back

OK, OK, you kids settle down. I know I've been gone for a while, but Daddy's back now so get out of my goddamn liquor cabinet and gather round for some updates. Summer's over, and with it the worst of my period of laziness (hopefully). I want to get this blog swinging again (like your mom *boosh*), so here are some of my plans for the future:

1. There are plenty of NEW SHOWS starting SOON that I will be bringing STRAIGHT from the wilderness of the INTERNET (since I don't have cable) to my eyes back to the INTERNET and into YOUR HOMES. These shows include: Survivor (first post coming either later today or sometime this weekend; and don't worry, unlike last time I promised something like this I actually have the notes written up and I just need to write the post), Fringe, The Amazing Race, and (possibly, depending on how busy I am) Supernatural and Hell's Kitchen. Probably not that last one, since it seemed like no one cared last time I did it, but we'll see.

2. Surprisingly enough, contrary to Prince's predictions, the INTERNET continues to pump out a plethora of INTERNET GOODNESS, and I, your faithful entertainer, will continue to bring you the BEST or WORST of this material. Which one will it be? THAT IS FOR THE GODS TO DECIDE.

3. The coming months appear to be a VERITABLE PARADISE for the video game fan, with such titles as Halo: Reach, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, Fallout: New Vegas, Fable III, and Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood being released. I will strive to write FASCINATING and HILARIOUSLY INFORMATIVE reviews of each of these games.

While I'm certain this news has you trembling with anticipation (like your mom *boosh*), I should warn you: I am currently in Vancouver on business, and my hotel is doing everything it can to prevent me from streaming the shows I want to watch (it took me 3 hours to load the premiere of Survivor), and I don't know if I have the patience to deal with that. I'll try to get some Internet Goodness posted this week, and I'll post the Survivor recap soon, but it may not be until next weekend before I really get things up and running again.

So bear with me, ye faithful followers, and soon I shall have you laughing uproariously or shrugging with indifference over that Country which yet lies Undiscovered.

Site Update: Writing and Sweating

Sorry to anyone who cares that I've been so useless in updating the site; there are a couple of reasons. First off, the only regular posts I was making were about Hell's Kitchen, and I've realized that no one but me gives a shit about that show, and even I am having a hard time caring about it these days (especially since they started doing two episodes a week; I can't bring myself to watch two hours of that show in one night). The second reason is that it's hot. You may have heard about this heat wave that's currently having its way with Ontario. I wouldn't have that big of a problem with it, except for the fact that I live in a house with no fucking air conditioning. This means that it's an average of 30 degrees in my room, and I can't stand sitting in front of the computer writing when it's like that (seriously, I sweat as much from 10 minutes of writing in my room as I do from running on the treadmill for half an hour). The heat wave's supposed to break this weekend, so hopefully I'll get something posted this weekend.

In terms of upcoming plans, I'm thinking about trying to write a novel, so I may start documenting the creative process on here. On the more useless side of things, Big Brother starts tomorrow, and while I doubt I'll care enough to write a recap of every episode, I may do a weekly summary of the major events. I realize that people probably care even less about Big Brother than they do about Hell's Kitchen, it's one of the most addicting shows I've ever seen, and there's something fascinating about watching a collection of the worst human beings on the planet (and make no mistake, the Big Brother producers seem to go out of their way each season to find the most reprehensible people they can).

Anyway, bear with me and I'll try to get back to posting on a regular basis.

RECAP: Hell's Kitchen - "14 Chefs Compete" and "13 Chefs Compete"

It's usually around the fourth or fifth episode of a reality show that you're really able to decide who it is that you'll be cheering for over the duration of the season, and who you'll be wishing would trip and fall into a deep fryer full of boiling oil. Hell's Kitchen is no different, and I've officially got my picks for the season, both for who I'll be cheering for to go far in the competition and for who I think will actually win the thing. More on that, plus the full recap, after the jump.

Internet Goodness: Earthquake Warning

California better watch out; this earthquake sounds like serious business.

RECAP: Hell's Kitchen - "15 Chefs Compete"

Hell's Kitchen is one of those shows that I watch and understand that there are very few redeeming qualities. As I mentioned last week, the chefs are typically chosen more for their entertainment value than for their cooking ability, and so you end up with a show primarily comprised of two types of people: mediocre chefs desperately trying to impress Chef Ramsay in an attempt to escape their shitty lives, and actors masquerading as chefs who are only on the show to get their 15 minutes of fame and who don't really care whether they win or not. It gets pretty easy to spot the contestants who actually care about whether or not they succeed as chefs, as they tend to actually apply Ramsay's advice.

The show isn't quite at Big Brother levels of inanity (and don't you worry, I'll be bringing that inanity to this blog soon enough), but there's something about watching idiotic people pretend to be chefs that is innately fascinating. This week's episode was no different from usual, providing us with a healthy dose of drama combined with more than a fair share of stupidity, and rounded off nicely with Gordon Ramsay's patented brand of rage. Read on for the full recap.

RECAP: Hell's Kitchen - "16 Chefs Compete"

It's that time of the year again; that time when 16 wannabe chefs (most of whom are in all likelihood chosen for their ability to create TV drama rather than for their cooking ability) subject themselves to virtually endless tantrums and abuse from chef Gordon Ramsay. This season, the winner will become the "head chef" of Ramsay's new restaurant at the Savoy Hotel in London, England (although not really, as the winners of the show historically have never actually become head chefs, but rather a senior chef working under someone else). After the jump, you can read the full recap.