The Amazing Race is back, which means it's time for these teams to address their UNFINISHED BUSINESS...at least according to the producers. It's not an all-star season, as some of these teams finished in 5th place or worse, and it's not a fan-favourite season either, as at least two of these teams are comprised of people that were nearly universally loathed in their respective seasons. Instead, we're given the subtitle "Unfinished Business"; in other words, these are teams that were eliminated thanks to some stupid little mistake that they made, and this (presumably) is their chance to redeem themselves.
The season opened with Phil Keoghan excitedly yelling that we were in PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA! WINDMILLS! ENERGY! UNFINISHED BUSINESS! HERE ARE THE TEAMS!!
- Jet and Cord - COWBOYS who are AWESOME (and are my pick to win)!
- Margie and Luke - A mother and her DEAF SON who FREAKS OUT at the FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE!
- Amanda and Kris - Engaged, and BORING!
- Flight Time and Big Easy - HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS! TALL! BLACK! DUMB!
- Mel and Mike - Father and son who are BOTH GAY! Mike is also SOMEWHAT FAMOUS!
- Kent and Vyxsin - "GOTHS" (they're not) who have DUMB NAMES and are STUPID LOOKING!
- Gary and Mallory - Father and daughter who are ADORABLE!
- Kisha and Jen - Black sisters who were eliminated when one of them HAD TO PEE! Also, THEY CAN'T SWIM!
- Zev and Justin - Best friends, and Zev has ASPERGERS! (They were hilariously wearing Harlem Globetrotters shirts, which made me remember that I really liked this team).
- Ron and Christina - Asian father and daughter; WHO ARE THEY?
- Jaime and Cara - AWFUL! OFFENSIVE! POSSIBLY RACIST!
I'm honestly somewhat conflicted this season, since there are so many teams that I actually like (Cowboys, Globetrotters, Zev and Justin, Gary and Mallory). But enough about feelings; what is this, a sewing circle? ON TO THE RECAP!
The teams started in Palm Springs, and were immediately tasked with finding something Phil called "what I want" - it turned out to be a paper airplane with QANTAS written on it, hidden amongst a field of similar paper airplanes. Let the product placement begin! The first 8 teams to find the airplanes would then get in a BRAND NEW 2012 FORD FOCUS!!! and drive to the airport, getting on the first flight to Sydney, Australia. The last 8 teams would be on a flight landing 90 minutes later. The very last team to finish the task (Amanda and Kris) would automatically be U-Turned, meaning they'd have to do both tasks in the Detour later in that leg of the Race.
Despite having a 90-minute head start, the first flight was diverted to Honolulu when a passenger had a heart attack in mid-flight, thus giving the people on the second plane a significant lead. Once in Sydney, the teams hit a Roadblock, in which one member had to swim with sharks and a "manta ray the size of a queen-sized bed" to find a giant compass at the bottom of the tank. It was impossible to tell whether or not the team members were actually in the same tank as the sharks and rays, as they were never shown together in the same shot. Once they got the compass, they had to take it outside and use it to decipher a "word puzzle" by matching the flags hanging on the dock to those engraved on the compass in order to come up with "I am between the Devil and the Deep" and the location of their next clue. A lot of teams had a fair bit of trouble with this task (some teams helped others; Zev and Justin straight up gave the answer to the Globetrotters, effectively allowing them to skip the puzzle altogether), but none so much as the Cowboys. Jet was doing the task, and while he deciphered the location without too much trouble, he completely neglected to figure out the phrase he was supposed to say, thus revealing one of the Cowboys' main weaknesses: they are not a detail-oriented team. A couple of times in their original season, they messed up by not reading a clue properly, and that is exactly what happened to them this time. In fact, by the end of the episode, they were so far behind that every other team had apparently reached the Mat while they were still working on the puzzle. However, all may not be lost...
After the puzzle, teams had to ride a 16ft Skiff out to a series of buoys to retrieve their next clue. Most of the teams did this without a problem, although Jaime and Cara flipped their boat over (and I kept hoping they'd just drown and save us another season of berating cab drivers). The clue led them to Shelly Beach, where they found Phil waiting with a GENUINE SHIRTLESS AUSTRALIAN SURFER DUDE! Gary and Mallory checked in first, but then Phil revealed YET ANOTHER TWIST: they weren't done racing. Although I think it's a decent idea to have these two-parter episodes, I think it's a fairly asinine thing to do in the season premier, and probably shouldn't have been done until later. As it was, we saw all teams but the Cowboys receive their clues (which seemed to direct them to the Outback), before we were left with a final shot of Jet still struggling with the puzzle and a "TO BE CONTINUED" message.
Overall it was a really great start to the Race, although I think that without the heart attack on the plane it would have been a foregone conclusion that Amanda and Kris would be the first team out due to their upcoming U-Turn. Will Jet and Cord be able to come back, or will they just compound their UNFINISHED BUSINESS? Will the Globetrotters continue to rely on Zev and Justin for help? When will we see our first Cab-Yelling, courtesy of Jaime and Cara? Will Kent and Vyxsin stop dressing like assholes, and will Vyxsin change her name to something NOT STUPID? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!!
Stay tuned.
Rage-Reducing Update:
It seems that Kent, from the "Goth" team that aren't really Goths as they wear bright pink and dress like girls, used to go by "Kynt", and changed it back to his given name for this edition of the Race in order to honor his recently deceased father. So thanks, Kent; you prevented me from being a lot angrier when I watch this show than I would otherwise have been.
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