RECAP: The Amazing Race

I have to say, this season of TAR is doing a great job of ensuring that I can't maintain an opinion about any one team for more than a week. Each week I find myself cheering for teams that I couldn't stand the week before, and disparaging the teams that I had previously been rooting for. This week was no different, as we saw Team Big Brother make one asinine decision after another on a path of stupidity that eventually ended with them in last place.

This leg of the race saw the teams travelling from Argentina to Germany, a task that initially seemed as though it would be another big equalizer, but instead created a pretty staggered series of arrivals in Frankfurt. From there, they had to take a train to Hamburg. There was a bit of drama, as Team Lesbian and Team Bro missed their train by a matter of seconds, because they couldn't read the giant signs leading them to the right track. Team Cowboy and Team Detective were well out in front when they reached the Intersection. In a fairly stupid twist, one person from each team had to partner with someone from another team to find Hamburg Harbour and go bungee jumping. It seemed like there would be a lot of drama here, as Brandy was freaking out about the bungee jump, but Dan managed to calm her down, and it was a lot less hilarious than it could have been. Jordan and Caite did the challenge for Teams BB and Model, which is probably the worst pairing I could imagine. These girls are both dumb as a box of rocks, but they were expected to navigate the Hamburg subway system to get to the Harbour. This set them back significantly, and they weren't able to catch up for the rest of the leg. Jet and Michael's jump was hilarious, as Jet successfully proved to the world that you can, in fact, bungee jump without losing your cowboy hat. Despite being in the lead, the Cowboys got lost on their way to the Kaiser Wilhelm statue, and ended up coming in 4th.

The Detour on this leg of the race had teams choosing between Soccer and Sauerkraut. The teams either had to kick a soccer ball from the penalty line through five targets or eat a plate of sauerkraut in the time it took a band to play a polka. Again, this seemed like an absurd choice; unless you're team David Beckham and Ronaldino, why would you not choose the sauerkraut? Of course, this season is apparently populated by idiots, and most of the teams initially chose Soccer. The most mystifying of these choices was Joe and Heidi's (I don't have a snappy name for them) choice to do the Soccer challenge, despite the fact that Joe had been complaining all episode about how his knee was killing him. Apparently he didn't think he'd need his knee to kick a soccer ball, and after failing for a while, they switched to the Sauerkraut challenge.

Joe wasn't the only one in pain at the soccer challenge; Caite's thighs were apparently trying to escape her body, as she was screaming in agony every time she tried to kick the ball. I guess playing soccer since you were five years old doesn't prevent you from injury, like, such as a broken thigh. Team Model managed to finish the challenge, despite her mystery injury.

Jeff and Jordan essentially got screwed in this leg of the race, as their idiot cab driver relied entirely on his GPS device, driving them into the middle of nowhere before they finally realized they weren't going to the right place. In his defence, it took Team BB a while to figure out that they must have made a mistake, but honestly, you'd think a cab driver would know his way around the goddamn city he works in. Anyway, they finally arrived at the Sauerkraut challenge, only to daintily pick at their plates until the song ran out and Jeff declared that they were going to do the Soccer challenge, saying it with a lot of attitude as though he didn't look like an idiot for not being able to eat one plate of Sauerkraut.

After the Detour, teams had to head to the Haifischbar (Shark Bar) and drink a boot of beer between the two of them. Despite the fact that this challenge was totally awesome, a lot of teams complained about it, with Cord making Jet drink almost the entire boot because he didn't like the taste of beer (and Jet claiming that he never wants to drink another beer in his life when he was done), Joe burp/vomiting so that he couldn't even read the clue when he was done, and Brent just throwing up on the sidewalk outside. The Detectives (who really grew on me this episode - they have a great dynamic and are often pretty funny) and Steve and Allie (or, as I like to call them, "...Who?") were excited about the challenge, as Steve loves drinking beer and had been complaining about wanting to drink since starting the race. The producers apparently realized that Steve and Allie had been virtually invisible for the first three episodes of this show, so they spent quite a bit of time with them during this leg.

When Jeff and Jordan finally reached the Pit Stop, they were in dead last, although the editors had done a fair job of making it look like they were right behind Team Model. However, in an obvious twist, this was a non-elimination leg of the race (it almost seemed guaranteed to happen, but I'm just not sure why. Maybe the show is just getting too predictable). They'll have to do a Speed Bump in the next leg, but I'm sure there will be some giant equalizing train ride or camel trip that will make the Speed Bump less of a big deal.

Current Standings

1st - Louie and Michael, Detectives with Moustaches

2nd - Steve and Allie, Invisible Father and Daughter

3rd - Joe and Heidi, Husband and Wife Who Haven't Done Anything Noteworthy Yet

4th - Jet and Cord, Cowboys with Immovable Hats

5th - Carol and Brandy, Bickering Lesbians

6th - Dan and Jordan, Bros, Bro

7th - Brent and Caite, Really Dumb Models

8th - Jeff and Jordan, Really Dumb Reality Show Contestants