Internet Goodness: Calvin and Hobbes Shoes

These shoes are the best thing I ever saw. And they're cheaper than most shoes you'd find at any store. More info at Gamma Squad.

Internet Goodness: Barbra Streisand

I cannot get enough of this song.

Internet Goodness: Evolution

And there are still people who don't believe in evolution.

Internet Goodness: Uppercut Willy

Had to be done. That whale was being a bitch.

Internet Goodness: Nic Cage

Oh Nicolas Cage, don't ever change.

Update post coming soon (if I feel like it...you may have noticed by now that I'm not the most reliable blogger).

Internet Goodness: Current Events

I swear to God, I'll never get tired of these.

Internet Goodness: What Wolf?

At long last, the return of Internet Goodness.

Internet Goodness: Earthquake Warning

California better watch out; this earthquake sounds like serious business.

Internet Goodness: GUUUUUHHHHH!!!

I hesitated to post this under the heading "Internet Goodness," because quite frankly there's absolutely nothing good about what's happening in this picture. However, I did find it on the Internet, so I guess the heading works.

Seriously. That is the gnarliest thing I've ever seen. I've always been of the opinion that bullfighting is a really goddamn stupid thing to do, and I'm pretty sure no one on earth could ever disagree with me after seeing this (closeups here). In fact, after these photos have been published, I wouldn't be surprised to see every bullfighter on earth say "Fuck this I quit."

Internet Goodness: Peter Fox

This is one of the coolest music videos I've seen in a long time, and I actually really like the song. Props to Sister for letting me know about it.

Internet Goodness: Lost Re-enacted by Cats

This is probably the most accurate re-enactment of Lost that I've ever seen. And it doesn't even need people.

Internet Goodness: Lost - CSI Miami Edition

I don't know if anything I could say would do this picture justice. You'll have to click it to see it full-size. Enjoy:

Internet Goodness: The Best Movie Ever?

I swear to God, they could make a movie of Danny Trejo making a ham sandwich and it would probably still be the best film of the year. This is the (unofficial?) trailer for Machete, the new film from Robert Rodriguez based on the trailer shown in Grindhouse.

Seriously. They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Internet Goodness: Marvel vs. Capcom 3

When people tell me that I play too many video games or that comic books are anything but awesome, I typically respond with a series of expletives, usually accompanied by a dismissive wanking motion and/or a mouthfart. Video games are a fantastic use of my time, and comics are indeed awesome. So when big dick swinger from Capcom got together with what I can only assume was a beautiful, big breasted woman from Marvel to create Marvel vs. Capcom back in 1999, you can probably imagine how tight my pants got (very). Well, that marvelous couple is back, and they're creating Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds. I don't even like fighting games, but stuff like this makes me tingle in my special areas.

Here's the trailer:

Internet Goodness: Barats and Bereta

Look, I know I said I'd be posting more often, but I've had papers to write and 2-year-old episodes of Prison Break to watch, so get off my back, OK? What am I, your ONLY source of entertainment? Read a damn book or something.

Or watch these guys. This is Barats and Bereta, an Internet comedy duo. Their stuff is hit or miss, but more often than not they're hilarious. They've recently updated their website, and the update video they made to announce it is metal as hell. It's only a little over a minute long, so watch the whole thing because the best part is right near the end.

In unrelated site news, now that I'm almost entirely done my school work FOREVER (*jumps on table, air guitars, pleasures three lingerie models simultaneously*), I'll be posting a couple of movie reviews this week; they'll probably be Hot Tub Time Machine (I know it's been a while, but the DVD just came out so shut up and read it) and Kick-Ass (see? I can be contemporary).

Internet Goodness: Sam Jackson Plays Guess Who

I found this picture an hour ago and I haven't been able to stop laughing about it.

Internet Goodness: Patrick Jean's "Pixels"

This is the way the world ends:

You win this round, video games.

Internet Goodness: Miles Fisher

This song sucks pretty hard, which is a damn shame because this is one of the best music videos I've ever seen. It's an homage to American Psycho, which is one of the best movies ever made (the book is even better, for those who want to feel like they're going insane just from reading a goddamn book). This dude is a dead ringer for Christian Bale, just a bit younger. He can't do the voice, but he has the Patrick Bateman smile down pat. Check it out:

Internet Goodness: Things I Hate

Listen, I hate a lot of things, but I think this dude has me beat. You may be thinking "But Ryan, you complain about everything! Do you even like ANYTHING?" The answer is no, so it's possible that I'm tied with this guy for Number of Things Hated; he's just found a better way to articulate his list than I have (Note: YouTube is typically a breathlessly stupid place to voice opinions like these, and you should avoid doing so unless you can make it funny like this guy has).

Internet Goodness: The Gnarliest Tattoo Ever

I know we've all seen some stupid tattoos in our day. Whether it's the idiot who gets a picture of his kid/girlfriend/family on his back that looks nothing like said kid/girlfriend/family, or the asshole who gets barbed wire around his bicep because "it looks tough," or the girl who gets the butterfly/flower/Chinese symbol she thinks means "Passion" but really means "Lower Intestine," we've seen it all.

Except for this. This is the gnarliest tattoo I've ever seen. Take a look:

You may think your eyes are deceiving you, but think again, bucko. That's Bowser. Wearing sunglasses. Shredding on a double-necked guitar. While surfing. In front of a giant pot leaf. In front of a giant cross. You may be asking yourself, "How does one come up with the concept for such an incredible tattoo?"

Boom:

Oh, Whitest Kids U' Know, you're an inspiration to us all.